Warning: this post is about my spiritual journey.
So, lately I have been what some would call spiritually homeless. I haven’t found a place that I could really say yep….that’s my church, synagogue, temple, etc…. I have done some research on this 5 year long journey and still – I have so many questions. I was raised Southern Baptist. For years the teachings were fulfilling to me – but then I came out. The internal struggle for me really started when Jo and I moved in together. We both were somewhat devout Christians. I would be lying if I told you that we followed all the rules of the bible and went to church every sunday/wed. We started on this journey to find where we fit into God’s plan and thankfully she found her place. I have not been so lucky yet. I have dabbled in a few different religions kinda testing the waters and what I have learned is….they are all kinda similar. A few exceptions here and there (like Heaven or reincarnation?) and now it seems I have more soul searching to do.
I think it is important for me as a lesbian (happily coupled) to talk about this. Some of my friends harbour bad feelings about Christianity saying “they don’t want you WHY do you want them?” Growing up in the church…I really miss that feeling of fellowship in Christ. Our gay youth now a days seem like they have all but abandoned the search for spiritual enlightenment. Those that do search find a community scorned by our religious leaders and who have turned our backs on god as well. I have not. I am still searching and though my search has led me to different churches and places my ultimate goal is to have communion with god.
Having said that I must admit that I have major concerns with today’s “organized religion”. Organized is the perfect word for it because it’s a crime how they treat people. Not allowing you in because your gay is them placing judgement right from the get go and who are they to judge me - certainly not God. I also have issues with the way the USE the bible against someone. I believe the bible to be a source of wisdom and guidance not a weapon. Furthermore, the stories within are meant as teaching tools not to be taken literally.
I continue to search because I need too… but having support is paramount. This post has run entirely too long and now I gotta go but stay tuned….
