This morning. After 3 weeks of binging and a roller coaster of emotional baggage…I ran. I know people are probably like WTF…you have been doing this since October shouldn’t you be over the surprise “I can do it” by now? Well, that’s my point – the fact that I still give a damn when I am only 3 months shy of being 1 year into my weight loss plan is a huge surprise to me! The fact that somewhere deep inside me I feel that I am worth the struggle…that I haven’t given up on myself yet…it speaks volumes of how much personal growth I have gone through since I started this. I am not the same person anymore… It’s difficult I think for Jo right now because I am changing and she is reacting to the change…sometimes with frustration or anger…not at me but because she doesn’t understand. It has been a rough 3 weeks around here lots of crying and apologies on both sides. Fact is I love her, can’t imagine my life without her, and we will figure this out too…just like everything else.
June 12, 2009