This is the new title for the book I’m going to write about how fucking bad kidney stones really hurt. Sounds oddly familiar right? it’s a spin off of harry.potte.r! The next installment will be “Crystal Clear and the Chamber of Sweets” which is sure to be a total hit! In other book related news – I have to admit something…it won’t be pretty….I. am. a. TOTAL. twilight Junkie! I have never really been one for vampires and the like but something about these book draw you in. I was really skeptical honestly it seemed like a crazy media circus but now I know why. I really enjoy stories with a romantic undertone. These books definitely had that. It had all the teenage angst of first loves you could possibly endure and then kept giving more. It’s funny how I even got the book… my MIL let me borrow it because she was just “in LOVE” with the first book. I was like OMG. seriously. you are like 60 right. way more mature that these little kid books. Well she insisted that I take it and I couldn’t really get into it at first but then I got the stone and 3 days off work so I figured “what the hell” i don’t have anything better to do – might as well read it will help me sleep. YEAH RIGHT! I have in 4 days read all 4 books. An amazing feat even for myself especially since the last one was 756 pages. Yesterday I re-read the last one to make sure I didn’t miss anything – I know…. retarded right? OH well can’t help what you like 
Oh and i did pass the stone – but I wasn’t as excited about that as I was about reading the last book – I hardly noticed the pain even…the book was that good.
OH and today is CD 1 of cycle 5 of not ttc yet. So far average cycles are running around 33 days average. The last chart was the only one that showed the solid cross hairs in the right spot so I think maybe I really might have O’ed last month! I lost 5 lbs. on my kidney stone diet (which puts me at 50 lbs. lost exactly) and I feel pretty good today – other than my period. Well, tata for now got to go read some more
So guess who ended up in the ER yesterday. me. and guess who hates hospitals. yep me again. and guess who has kidney stones. you guess it…me. The pain is crippling I tell you and OMG nothing you do makes it feel any better. I haven’t slept longer than 3 hours at the most since yesterday and passed out twice. I was up all night in unbearable pain trying my best to make it through. This is undeniably the worst pain I have ever experienced. EVER. I didn’t fill my prescription of vicodin either because…”I won’t need that” pshf. yeah right…because I am wonder woman when it comes to pain…who was I trying to kid? Looks like it’s going to be a rough couple of days for me – but no work – doc’s orders so at least that something.
so I put on my bikini folks. the one im wearing to sanibel. in just over 3 months. it sort of fits… And sort of not. I definitely need a bigger top. This weekend was of those rare weekends that seem to last for longer than 2 days…it was awesome!
On Saturday we went to lunch and I got some of the new BK burger sho.ts…. pretty good in my opinion. Then we went to get some floats for the pool and then we went over to moms to swim. I just got my tat so no swimming for me – all I could do was float but I still managed to get a bit of a starter tan for sanibel. We got home and then went to the movie – saw Angels and D.emons – and it was not that good to me. If you have read the book you will find the movie distracting – so much so that you can’t enjoy it. The movie itself was not bad just VERY different from the book. After the movie we went to our local “fun” store and looked at some new toys. We found some that we liked and met some really stupid people in the store..I don’t know why they go in there if they can’t just act their age? It’s like I just want to slap them. They were walking around going “OMG how can people use this stuff?” umm….why are YOU here? Oh well, we found some cute waterproof stuff and we left…
Sunday we HAD to go buy a new refrigerator…had to. We got a mayta.g this time because they were on sale at Home Depo.t and hey – who could pass up a sale? So we got a normal freezer on top fridge model and it was only like 620 then we bought the warranty for up to 5 years because of our luck with appliances. total we spent $778 including tax. Not too bad – but it was more than I really wanted to spend. Then last night we had a chance to really reconnect – it wasn’t rushed because of work or places to go…and it was raining…perfect. We talked a lot about when we start TTC again and how we will deal with the BFNs and talked with hope about the BFPs :O) That about sums up our weekend – now I am heading to the gym! so I can fit into that very cute bikini that i have. I took pictures in it but I don’t know if I will be brave enough to post them here or not – I guess we will see :O)
all this family stuff has my brain so preoccupied I can’t concentrate on anything. I am worried sick about my mom and how bad this situation can get – not legally I think but emotionally. It’s going to turn into a his kids her kids type deal and she is so giving and loving – it will be hard for her. Especially now with the grand kids too! this sucks.
I can’t seem to focus on my diet right now which was going pretty good – at least at a steady pace anyway. Now – my plan is all screwed up because our fridge broke and you know what that means…going out to eat ALL week. I am not even going to tell you how expensive this week has been but on top of all that – we haven’t had time to go but a new one, all the food that was in it went bad and we have to buy more groceries too! plus moms taxes and trying hard to save for the “baby” fund….shit this month has been a tough money month. I would say let’s put it on the credit card but I know that’s a bad idea not to mention we can’t because the only one we have is just about maxed out…sadly. Seems like we just can’t get out of this hole. We get ahead and then bam – huge amounts of money are needed and I haven’t had time to save since I payed of the card last time. this sucks too. Anyway, what was I talking about …OH right the weight loss stuff. Well, today is not a normal weigh in day but I did it and I’ll be damned it if I didn’t gain 3lbs. overnight. Not surprised – I ate taco bell for a late night snack last night and we all know how healthy that is…NOT. So basically today I just feel humdrum…bummed about gaining weight today and just tired of the body stress. ugghh…i’m gonna go run and clear my head or something. OH and I almost stepped on a snake yesterday a little one that looked like this
we are just guessing at the type from pictures …we only saw him for a short second but this is just about what the little guy looked like. He wasn’t aggressive at all either even though he almost was a casualty of my size 7. cool huh!
“Some people” in this post refers to my very absent dad. My dad who left us here about 5 years ago with only occasional calls or emails even though he’s quite capable…just unwilling. I have been stewing over his latest attempt at trying to contact us andact like he has some authority here. Where he very obviously does NOT. He left my mother with bills to pay and moved across the globe to the Philippines where he met a girl younger than his youngest child (my brother who is 25) and had a baby. Jo and I are having to basically support my mom at this point because she has no marketable job skills to speak of especially in today’s world – she has no idea how to use a computer. Now that this economy is in such a crunch she can’t find anything but cleaning houses for a living. No insurance – no retirement- nada. Anyway, without getting into too much detail…my mom does own her own home out right paid off with 20 acres attached. This is where my dad calls and says that my step sister is getting foreclosed on (she has known for a year) and that mom is going to sell them 5 acres of her property. WHAT?! first off who the fuck is he to tell her to do anything at all? he left her! Second, he wants her to sign over the property first so they can use it as collateral and then they are SUPPOSED to pay on it (umm…they are in foreclosure right NOW does anyone think that they will pay for it? ESPECIALLY after the deed is already in their name?). He must think mom is a complete idiot – or the puppet that he left her 5 years ago. She has changed and I am doing my best to empower her and let her know that this will NOT work. It’s a huge mistake. It has tax implications even because if she lets go of this 5 acres she loses her agricultural tax status and property taxes shoot way UP! she can’t afford the ones she has now! Jo and I are paying them for her.
I can’t even begin to tell you how busy I was yesterday – calling real estate attorneys, the tax office, building and zoning office, property appraiser, etc….. My dad is so greedy. So self centered. That house is all my mom has for retirement and right now property value is in the toilet so she basically is royally fuck’d. super. The best part about this whole thing is he sends me an email yesterday telling me that “mom was upset when I talked to her…I need you to help me in this situation” is he fucking kidding me? The best help I can give both of them is to say look – it’s a bad idea family wise and a really bad move financially. Because he will come over here and fuck it all up again and leave – just like he always does and my brother, jo and I will be the only ones helping her get things back to normal. I fucking hate family drama.
look what I got this morning :O)
my new Hell.o Kitty Tattoo!
Thought I would drop in today and share my newest weight loss accomplishments
- ran 2.1 miles (all together without stopping)
- did 100 transverse crunches!
- not falling off my swiss ball (funny but sooo true)
- sticking to the plan
- Training for a 5k
At times I feel like I am not pushing my body hard enough and other times too hard. I am sure that I will soon find a balance. Luckily I have a wonderful wife who is doing this with me
Now for things I need to work on (can’t have the good without the not as good)
- organize breakfast better
- be more prepared for snacks/ cravings
- drink more water (currently only getting about 32 oz. a day)
- start cooking at home again
These are the things that I am aware need to change before I can continue to change me. All are very important and an integral part of my success on this journey.
I gained a lb this week. I am tempted to say it’s just water weight but truth is – I took off the last two days of exercise because of some back pain and pretty much didn’t log what I ate. A huge mistake for me because there goes the structure! Without it I can’t do this. So in a feeble attempt to make up for lost time – I will not take off my thursday this week only Sunday (mothers day) to get back on schedule. On a much lighter note – I think the metformin might actually help me ovulate this month – I had a temp drop on my chart this morning and some EWCM too! all good signs that my body is getting baby ready! I really needed to see some results too because whoo it has put my body through the ringer! Today is CD 11 of month 4 of charting. Temps seem to be a little more consistent this month than previous months so here’s hoping
So my doc wants me to take clomid as well but I decided that I don’t want to this month. We aren’t trying yet first of all and I don’t want to waste it – insurance doesn’t cover that med. Plus is gives me wicked headaches and until my body adjust to the other I would really rather not add to the discomfort. Do you think that is wise? Should I have taken it to get my body ready for July? hmmmm….now I am starting to think I might have messed up.
We are thinking about going to the shrimp festival – not sure if we will – but a thought none the less as this weekend we have no plans. Maybe we will go see a movie… who knows. I need to go to the fabric store (jo hates to hear that) and pick out a pattern and fabric for the new quilt I am making. We have been sticking to our diet plan pretty well but I am sure we could do better…although yesterday – we went out I DIDN”T eat ONE french fry. Quite an accomplishment for me I would say!
